Wedding guest list and RSVP

How many should we invite?

The number of guests is the one decision that drives almost everything else in a wedding — venue, catering, budget and atmosphere. So it should be set before the list, not after. Start with the constraints: how many fit in the venue, what the budget allows per guest, and how big you actually want it to feel. The number you land on is the ceiling the rest of the planning must stay within.

The hard part is rarely the core — it's the edges. Distant relatives, colleagues, friends you see rarely, and where the line falls for plus-ones and children. Once you have a cap, these choices become easier, because every extra guest visibly takes the place of someone else.

• Decide the maximum number first — it drives venue, catering and budget
• Start with the core (close family and close friends) and work outwards
• The hard calls sit at the edges: distant relatives, colleagues, plus-ones and children

Build the list in layers (A- and B-list)

A proven method is the A- and B-list. The A-list is the people you absolutely want there — close family and close friends — and they are invited first. The B-list is guests you'd happily include if there's room. As declines come in from the A-list, you send invitations to names from the B-list. This fills the venue without overbooking, and without anyone noticing they were on a second list — as long as the B-invitations go out in good time, not the week before.

Settle the policy questions early and apply them consistently, so you avoid the uneven treatment that causes hurt feelings: Does everyone get a plus-one, or only those in established relationships? Is it a child-friendly wedding or adults only? These rules should apply equally to everyone in the same category.

• A-list: must-have guests, invited first. B-list: invited as declines arrive
• Send B-invitations in good time, not at the last minute, so no one feels like a backup
• Decide plus-one and children rules early, and apply them equally to everyone in the same category

Send the invitation and collect RSVPs

Weddings are planned in two stages. Send save-the-dates early — ideally 6–12 months ahead, and earlier still if many guests have to travel or it's peak season. They lock in the date in guests' calendars without all the details. The invitation itself goes out once the programme and practical information are ready, typically 2–3 months before the day.

Set an RSVP deadline around 3–4 weeks before the wedding. That gives you time to chase non-responders, finalise the seating plan, and give the venue and caterer a firm headcount on time. Use a digital RSVP via a shared link, so all replies gather automatically in one place — and you avoid tracking scattered answers across texts, emails and conversations. Ask at the same time about food allergies and dietary needs, so you have it ready for the menu.

• Save-the-date 6–12 months ahead; invitation 2–3 months before the day
• RSVP deadline around 3–4 weeks before — time for chasing, seating and a firm headcount
• Ask for food allergies and dietary needs inside the RSVP, alongside yes/no

Follow-up and the final headcount for venue/catering

In the weeks before the deadline, the job is to close the guest list. Track who has replied, and send a friendly reminder to those who haven't a few days before the deadline. When declines come in from the A-list, send B-invitations straight away while there's still plenty of time. This flow is what keeps the number stable right up to the day.

The final headcount isn't just a formality — caterers usually bill per cover, and the venue and seating plan depend on accurate numbers. Many suppliers want the final count a few days to a week before. Once the RSVP deadline has passed, you sum the yeses, add plus-ones, subtract declines, and pass the number on. An up-to-date, single home for the replies turns this into a lookup, not a recount.

• Send a friendly reminder to non-responders a few days before the deadline
• Send B-invitations as soon as declines arrive, while there's still plenty of time
• After the deadline: sum yeses + plus-ones, and confirm the final count with venue and caterer

Guest list, RSVP and addresses in Zenframe

Zenframe Events (zenframe.no/event) keeps the guest list, RSVP replies and addresses together in one place. You add the guests, share an RSVP link, and guests reply yes or no without creating an account or logging in. Replies update the total automatically, and you can collect food allergies, dietary needs and plus-ones in the same reply — everything you need for the menu and seating plan.

If you need addresses for invitations or thank-you cards, guests can fill them in themselves via the link, so you don't have to chase. The invitation and save-the-date are made on Zenframe Invite (zenframe.eu/lag-invitasjon/bryllup), with wedding templates and built-in RSVP — replies flow straight into the guest list in Events. The budget and task modules help you keep the rest of the planning in order at the same time.

• Events: guest list, RSVP via a shared link without an account, and an automatically updated total
• Collect addresses, food allergies and plus-ones in the same reply — ready for menu, seating and thank-you cards
• Invite (zenframe.eu/lag-invitasjon/bryllup): wedding templates and save-the-date with built-in RSVP

Quick tips for the wedding guest list

• Decide the maximum number before you make the list — it drives venue, catering and budget.
• Use an A- and B-list: invite the A-list first, and send B-invitations as declines come in.
• Send save-the-dates 6–12 months ahead and the invitation itself 2–3 months before.
• Set the RSVP deadline around 3–4 weeks before, and ask for food allergies in the same reply.
• Send B-invitations in good time, not the week before, so no one feels like a backup.

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